I've been living in Barcelona now for 9 months and it was starting to get a little easier. Two short term relationships & developing my tribe. Things seemed to be getting easier living here on a new continent & new country solo. I have to say, living abroad comes with a shit load of challenges. No one speaks about the loneliness that takes hold of you like a kung fu grip. I'm a super social introvert. Introverts know exactly what I mean by that. You're social ONLY when you want to be & when it's necessary to further your position. Other than that, it's not worth your time. Although you're fine with being alone. You know there's a necessisity & a HUGE difference with being alone by choice & making the conscious decision to interact versus being alone surrounded by a bunch of weirdo misfits. That's a whole other thing when you need to keep yourself from these folks because you feel they're a bunch of nuts. That's a conscious choice. you HAVE to make space for mental health. But you soon start to question if they're the misfits or are YOU the misfit.
I just finished my third interview with my friend's blog that generated a lot of inquiries from other Black women to connect with me. They wanted to tap my brain about living in Spain as its a popular destination for ex-pats aka immigrants here by choice. I was a bit apprehensive to follow up because I just came from escaping "The Seattle". It was still unsettling as he kept harassing me for months after leaving him. It's really scary to escape a white man when you know your birthplace is where white men get away with killing you. One of the ladies that contacted me from that blog became one of my closest friends in a short period of time. She is still that to this day. It was her last day of living in Barcelona & her birthday. She was heading back to the states. That was so hard for me as we connected so much. It's like being a third culture kid. It's so hard having to let go of folks you finally genuinely connect to. She decided to celebrate her leaving & her birthday with the tribe she's formed during her time here. It was five of us North Americans living life in Spain. We first headed out to pregame drink. We eventually headed to a night club but just before that, we had a whole photo op. It was my second time trying out some blacklight makeup at a place that would actually have black lights, also with my grey contact lenses. Don't judge me!!1 We were still in this era/stage! I'm also an artist & will try out things on myself before my clients.
Now I look back it was a bit clownish but in my head, I was looking like the shit!!! We've ALL had those questionable times. That night's photo op would lead to one of the ladies from that evening sharing it with her coworkers. It caught the attention of The Brit. He asked her to ask me if I'd go to dinner with him & he'd pay for everything. I was like DUH!!! Of course, you'll be paying. DA FUQ!!! First red flag right?!! Anyone leading with that has gotta be overcompensating for something. Anyway, I agreed. She sent me his picture. I wasn't that impressed but I needed a break from the Spaniards & other foreign dudes I was dating after The Seattle. Dating was easy peasy in Barcelona. Quality was a HUGE problem. After a few exchanges over WhatsApp we decided on a day to meet up. I told him lets go to Les Gens Que J'aime. Cute little dimly lit bar in the cut off of Passeig de Gracia. We met there and had a few drinks. The music & drinks here are lit!!! The lighting went well with my tan that left me looking like copper. That was May 1st, 2014. Our date would last for 7 hours. This was possibly the shortest date i"ve been on here. This was actually quite normal for me even back home. As he dropped me home in my haughty tauety neighborhood he asked me what we're doing tomorrow. My response was. "Let's make something up together" We'd be together in an A Sexual (I think. I've never been w/a man that didn't want sex) 9 month of allowance, sexless relationship. To be continued...
